This Lenten season is bearing down on me like never before.
I think I was close enough to God is Haiti to gain some clarity that I did not know I needed.
God is telling me to 'be hungry'.
I am.
I want to see more, do more, and know more about what this life is for and what it means to have lived for Christ.
More than ever before I want to see God moving around me daily and be in the middle of something He is doing. Not by my hand, but his.
I cried out to God in Haiti and asked him to do something.
I understand, he is and will continue.
How did I get here? I do not have a clue... but so glad I did.
I love this life.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Home. Sort of...
After a long, long trip home and a night on the floor in the Atlanta airport, we were welcomed safely home into the arms of our families on Sunday. With that, we began the task of fitting back into our nicely orchestrated American lives.
Sounds easy, but it is not.
I struggle with this so much that I actually dread it. The last good-bye before leaving home to my kids, grandkid and husband are #1 the hardest of any trip. But no question , #1.1 is leaving Africa in Africa and of course, Haiti in Haiti. The good-byes are tearful on that end too. The God-forged friendship that grows in one week is nothing short of phenomenal. This is true love, the way God intended, in the church. They need hope and we have an abundance and we feed off of each other... both getting just what we need and growing in love and respect each day. Then it ends and we come home, changed AGAIN... and trying to figure out what is next.
The easy and obvious next step is to go back. Which I would love to do, and have worked on since before leaving.
The not so obvious is how to be home and function. But, God gave me an epiphany yesterday.
Poverty looks different here.
But it is still poverty.
The poor in spirit is who I have equipped you to serve.
The poor in spirit cover the planet.
Serve the poor in spirit... wherever I put you.
Once again Debbi Ann... bloom where you are planted.
This is so, so, so good. I know this and I have learned this before and actually gave me this personal perspective about 10 years ago... so this is not new to me, but rather an update. A reminder of what my attitude should be.
God is so good to his people, both here and in Haiti. He mourns with us when we hurt and knows our suffering and he has not forgotten Haiti. This is a time like no other for God to be glorified and revealed to Haitians. Pray that His Kingdom will come, in Haiti and His will be done among Haitians. We will count ourselves honored to be a part of it in some way, and willingly suffer with the Haitians in their immense sorrow for the loss of so many lives.
Lord, reveal yourself to Haiti and be glorified through the servants you have called, equipped and sent. Send more and more and more to serve the poor in spirit. Comfort the Haitians in their time of sorrow and pain. Be near to them in their loss. Minister to them by your Holy Spirit, like no other god they have known. Call to them as their God and pour your love out among the rubble. Infuse the cities with your peace and presence. Be glorified in all that is said and done in your name in Haiti , for decades to come.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Sounds easy, but it is not.
I struggle with this so much that I actually dread it. The last good-bye before leaving home to my kids, grandkid and husband are #1 the hardest of any trip. But no question , #1.1 is leaving Africa in Africa and of course, Haiti in Haiti. The good-byes are tearful on that end too. The God-forged friendship that grows in one week is nothing short of phenomenal. This is true love, the way God intended, in the church. They need hope and we have an abundance and we feed off of each other... both getting just what we need and growing in love and respect each day. Then it ends and we come home, changed AGAIN... and trying to figure out what is next.
The easy and obvious next step is to go back. Which I would love to do, and have worked on since before leaving.
The not so obvious is how to be home and function. But, God gave me an epiphany yesterday.
Poverty looks different here.
But it is still poverty.
The poor in spirit is who I have equipped you to serve.
The poor in spirit cover the planet.
Serve the poor in spirit... wherever I put you.
Once again Debbi Ann... bloom where you are planted.
This is so, so, so good. I know this and I have learned this before and actually gave me this personal perspective about 10 years ago... so this is not new to me, but rather an update. A reminder of what my attitude should be.
God is so good to his people, both here and in Haiti. He mourns with us when we hurt and knows our suffering and he has not forgotten Haiti. This is a time like no other for God to be glorified and revealed to Haitians. Pray that His Kingdom will come, in Haiti and His will be done among Haitians. We will count ourselves honored to be a part of it in some way, and willingly suffer with the Haitians in their immense sorrow for the loss of so many lives.
Lord, reveal yourself to Haiti and be glorified through the servants you have called, equipped and sent. Send more and more and more to serve the poor in spirit. Comfort the Haitians in their time of sorrow and pain. Be near to them in their loss. Minister to them by your Holy Spirit, like no other god they have known. Call to them as their God and pour your love out among the rubble. Infuse the cities with your peace and presence. Be glorified in all that is said and done in your name in Haiti , for decades to come.
On earth as it is in heaven.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Dega Je...
Life goes on in Port au Prince. They have a saying here... Dega Je "make it happen". We understand it a little more every day. It is how this place survives.
People are afraid to sleep inside, so they sleep outside even if their house is still standing. If their house has 'fallen down', they sleep on the street.
At first glance, food seems to be everywhere, but it is not available. Food is along all the sidewalks for sale by vendors... fruit, bread and even medicine. The food distribution lines are all around the city and peace is kept by the presence of the US Marines, the Canadian military the UN. But people are hungry. Many of the patients we saw today have not eaten or have eaten rice once a day. Clean water is not easily available, or not available at all. The people that have come to us are suffering on many, many levels.
Everyone has lost someone, and most have lost everything.
Since starting our new clinic at BelAire on Monday, we have already bonded with the community and feel like this is where we should be, partnering with the church, to be the church to the community. Good stuff. This is where the permanent site for the H2HI clinic will be located and the neigborhood is starved for the care. I asked some of the men in the church to hang the H2HI banner on the front of the church yesterday and they scurried up the stairs to get it up with huge smiles on their faces.
Tuesday Paul, Joey and I saw about 100 patients in about 5 hours at BelAire, and today Joey and I saw 80 patients in 7.5 hours. We were our own pharmacists and spent a special few minutes with each patient. All our patients know they are loved.
The most common chief complaints are diarrhea, vomiting, headache, itching and pain. I have heard my translator say many, many times "She is having pain in her back because she fell down in her house during the earthquake, then her house fell down".
When I ask about the family, I have heard my translator say too many times "Her husband is died" or "Her parents is died". All I can say is "I am sorry". They look me in the eye and I look back and I hold their gaze... long enough for me say with my eyes.... my heart is breaking for you. I touch every patient gently during my exam and hold their hand and pat them on the leg or the shoulder and with every touch, I want to be sure to say... you are loved.
Joey and I worked in tandem today seeing patients and dispensing meds. We started at 9am and decided at 3pm to take a quick break. A man had come by early this morning to ask if I would come to his house to see his wife. I promised I would, so once we decided to take a 15 minute break, we ventured out into the neighborhood to make a house call. The house was just down the street from the church and we found his wife just inside the front door. Her name is Sandy. She fractured her left femur during the earthquake (1/12/10), and had surgery on January 25th. She was not in the hospital until the day of her surgery, and suffered with a femur fracture for 13 days until they screwed her femur back together and applied the external fixation device. Today, she is laying 10 feet from the street in the middle of Port au Prince, next to an open doorway in the lower front room of her house. She is on the bottom story of a large concrete building with an external fixator on her left femur. She has a beautiful smile and a lovely spirit. Her husband wanted me to check her and change her catheter. That is all, just check her. She is doing so well and her family is taking very good care of her. Joey and I changed her catheter as her little 3 year-old son Mike, stood close by and watched us intently. We all held hands and prayed around her bed before we left. It was so very special and one of those things that can only happen when you are right in the middle of something God is doing.
One of my patients today came in bleeding and holding his wrist. He had a large laceration and needed sutures. Once I got him into the clinic and began to suture his wound I was able to ask a few questions. His name is Snider. He is 19. His parents and grandparents died in the quake. He has been on the street, alone since January 12th. He has not eaten in 2 days.
I have a 19 year old son and it is so painful to think of Kaleb alone on the streets of Port au Prince for the last 29 days with no where to go and no one to help him. Snider is out there tonight. I want to be his mom. I want to be the mom to so many kids I have seen is Haiti.
I have seen the same very elderly little old man on the street outside the church every day. He walked up to me when we were leaving today and held his hand out to me. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear "Jesus loves you". I am sure he did not know what I said, but the men from the church yelled at him to leave me alone. He was talking and talking and when I asked one of the men what he said he replied "He said if he does not die out here tonight he will see you tomorrow". I said, I will see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow is already Thursday. As much as we love and miss our families, we are not ready to come home. There is a massive amount of work to be done here and we want to do it.
Lord, work out your will for Haiti... and use us please.
People are afraid to sleep inside, so they sleep outside even if their house is still standing. If their house has 'fallen down', they sleep on the street.
At first glance, food seems to be everywhere, but it is not available. Food is along all the sidewalks for sale by vendors... fruit, bread and even medicine. The food distribution lines are all around the city and peace is kept by the presence of the US Marines, the Canadian military the UN. But people are hungry. Many of the patients we saw today have not eaten or have eaten rice once a day. Clean water is not easily available, or not available at all. The people that have come to us are suffering on many, many levels.
Everyone has lost someone, and most have lost everything.
Since starting our new clinic at BelAire on Monday, we have already bonded with the community and feel like this is where we should be, partnering with the church, to be the church to the community. Good stuff. This is where the permanent site for the H2HI clinic will be located and the neigborhood is starved for the care. I asked some of the men in the church to hang the H2HI banner on the front of the church yesterday and they scurried up the stairs to get it up with huge smiles on their faces.
Tuesday Paul, Joey and I saw about 100 patients in about 5 hours at BelAire, and today Joey and I saw 80 patients in 7.5 hours. We were our own pharmacists and spent a special few minutes with each patient. All our patients know they are loved.
The most common chief complaints are diarrhea, vomiting, headache, itching and pain. I have heard my translator say many, many times "She is having pain in her back because she fell down in her house during the earthquake, then her house fell down".
When I ask about the family, I have heard my translator say too many times "Her husband is died" or "Her parents is died". All I can say is "I am sorry". They look me in the eye and I look back and I hold their gaze... long enough for me say with my eyes.... my heart is breaking for you. I touch every patient gently during my exam and hold their hand and pat them on the leg or the shoulder and with every touch, I want to be sure to say... you are loved.
Joey and I worked in tandem today seeing patients and dispensing meds. We started at 9am and decided at 3pm to take a quick break. A man had come by early this morning to ask if I would come to his house to see his wife. I promised I would, so once we decided to take a 15 minute break, we ventured out into the neighborhood to make a house call. The house was just down the street from the church and we found his wife just inside the front door. Her name is Sandy. She fractured her left femur during the earthquake (1/12/10), and had surgery on January 25th. She was not in the hospital until the day of her surgery, and suffered with a femur fracture for 13 days until they screwed her femur back together and applied the external fixation device. Today, she is laying 10 feet from the street in the middle of Port au Prince, next to an open doorway in the lower front room of her house. She is on the bottom story of a large concrete building with an external fixator on her left femur. She has a beautiful smile and a lovely spirit. Her husband wanted me to check her and change her catheter. That is all, just check her. She is doing so well and her family is taking very good care of her. Joey and I changed her catheter as her little 3 year-old son Mike, stood close by and watched us intently. We all held hands and prayed around her bed before we left. It was so very special and one of those things that can only happen when you are right in the middle of something God is doing.
One of my patients today came in bleeding and holding his wrist. He had a large laceration and needed sutures. Once I got him into the clinic and began to suture his wound I was able to ask a few questions. His name is Snider. He is 19. His parents and grandparents died in the quake. He has been on the street, alone since January 12th. He has not eaten in 2 days.
I have a 19 year old son and it is so painful to think of Kaleb alone on the streets of Port au Prince for the last 29 days with no where to go and no one to help him. Snider is out there tonight. I want to be his mom. I want to be the mom to so many kids I have seen is Haiti.
I have seen the same very elderly little old man on the street outside the church every day. He walked up to me when we were leaving today and held his hand out to me. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear "Jesus loves you". I am sure he did not know what I said, but the men from the church yelled at him to leave me alone. He was talking and talking and when I asked one of the men what he said he replied "He said if he does not die out here tonight he will see you tomorrow". I said, I will see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow is already Thursday. As much as we love and miss our families, we are not ready to come home. There is a massive amount of work to be done here and we want to do it.
Lord, work out your will for Haiti... and use us please.
Monday, February 8, 2010
New Clinic at Bel Aire Church of the Nazarene
Today we drove into area of downtown Port au Prince to open a new clinic at Bel Aire Church of the Nazarene. We drove through what has to be some of the worst damage in the city.
There are what used to be four story buildings that are completely pancaked and no higher than one story. Nothing is left in many areas of the city, but people and chaos.
This church is right in the middle of it all.
Teresa and I had the honor of opening the clinic for these precious people that have been injured and displaced for nearly 4 weeks. Many still had injuries from the quake that had not been treated, many now suffer with conditions that come with living on the street. Scabies, diarrhea, parasites, headaches and unrelenting stress.
Today we saw children that were undernourshed and dehydrated, that are living on the street, covered with parasites that may have one meal a day. Some are with a parent, many are with grandparents and some seem to be with no one.
We cried it out on the way home.
I do not have the words yet.
My prayer today.... Lord please help these people.
There are what used to be four story buildings that are completely pancaked and no higher than one story. Nothing is left in many areas of the city, but people and chaos.
This church is right in the middle of it all.
Teresa and I had the honor of opening the clinic for these precious people that have been injured and displaced for nearly 4 weeks. Many still had injuries from the quake that had not been treated, many now suffer with conditions that come with living on the street. Scabies, diarrhea, parasites, headaches and unrelenting stress.
Today we saw children that were undernourshed and dehydrated, that are living on the street, covered with parasites that may have one meal a day. Some are with a parent, many are with grandparents and some seem to be with no one.
We cried it out on the way home.
I do not have the words yet.
My prayer today.... Lord please help these people.
A baby with a facial fracture...
Yesterday afternoon we opened the clinic here on the Seminary grounds. There are about 500 displaced people living here on the grounds and it was announced in church that we would open the clinic at 1:30. By 1pm the line was starting. There were 4 of us seeing patients and by 6:30 last night we had seen over 200 patients.
I will never forget two of the babies that I saw in clinic last night.
One is a 10 month old that I believe has a facial fracture. His mother laid over him to protect him and she was killed when their house came down. Later in the day he was pulled out of her arms, out of the rubble. There was a large concrete slab on his head and the outward injuries have healed and all he has now are scars. But his right eyelid is drooping and there is swelling, he is not feeding well and there is obvious obstruction in sinuses and upper airways. I fear he has a facial fracture and a nerve entrapment. I have a number to get back in touch with them and hope to figure something figured out today to get him helped. But I had to send them away last night with no immediate help.
The second baby is a 2 month old baby girl that was wheezing. She was working to breathe and needed medication. We did not have the medication she needed. It broke my heart to let her leave the clinic. The are sleeping outside and it is very, very dusty here and the air quality is very poor. I am so worried about her. I am crying out to God today that she will return today and we will be able to help her.
I have a new prayer that I have prayed several times in Haiti and God seems to be ready to supply. Jesus, I need some help here, please......
He has not let me down yet.
My prayer is that God will move in the lives of these babies and make a way for them.
This is so hard to see, and not change with an easy fix.
This is a big situation, with a long term need.
What will we do?
I will never forget two of the babies that I saw in clinic last night.
One is a 10 month old that I believe has a facial fracture. His mother laid over him to protect him and she was killed when their house came down. Later in the day he was pulled out of her arms, out of the rubble. There was a large concrete slab on his head and the outward injuries have healed and all he has now are scars. But his right eyelid is drooping and there is swelling, he is not feeding well and there is obvious obstruction in sinuses and upper airways. I fear he has a facial fracture and a nerve entrapment. I have a number to get back in touch with them and hope to figure something figured out today to get him helped. But I had to send them away last night with no immediate help.
The second baby is a 2 month old baby girl that was wheezing. She was working to breathe and needed medication. We did not have the medication she needed. It broke my heart to let her leave the clinic. The are sleeping outside and it is very, very dusty here and the air quality is very poor. I am so worried about her. I am crying out to God today that she will return today and we will be able to help her.
The other 45 patients I saw were all precious and many with stories of loss and fear that stop you in your tracks. This is a desperate situation.
There is no ER that they can go to. There is no safety net that will take care of these babies. They have to pay first to go to the hospital and these families have no money. This is so hard.I have a new prayer that I have prayed several times in Haiti and God seems to be ready to supply. Jesus, I need some help here, please......
He has not let me down yet.
My prayer is that God will move in the lives of these babies and make a way for them.
This is so hard to see, and not change with an easy fix.
This is a big situation, with a long term need.
What will we do?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Saturday... in Haiti
Well, not much happened today.
We were allowed to drive right into the interior of the miliary controlled airport, drive our vehicle out onto the tarmac and load our cargo into a brand spankin new Kodiak plane to be piloted by a Mission Aviation Fellowship pilot from Holland.
When it was time to leave our ground crew pushed us out to the runway and we took off.
We flew South to Jacmel. Over Haiti. A-MAZING... is all I can say.
I am scared of heights and was mentally prepared to die... but we did not crash and I did not die. (I was seriously thinking that I was glad I had watched so much Bear Grills with Kaleb, and I think I could survive and hike out... if the sudden stop of the crash didn't smoosh me).
We arrived in Jacmel 25 minutes later. We were greeted by the Canadian miliary and whisked away to the church to start clinic. Within 20 minutes we were seeing patients. I saw 30 patients by 2pm and prayed with every one. They know they are loved.
I only cried with one family today. She is a single mom with 4 kids. They are sleeping outside and she is afraid and feels unsafe. She is grieving the loss of her husband, who died in September. Her name is Melielle. Friends, please pray for her. She broke my heart.
We had to be back on the plane by 2:30, so we made it back at 2:29. Our pilot flew us safely back to Port au Prince and the mountains, cities and the sea look amazing from 5000 ft.
I am still scared of heights, but I loved this anyway.
All in a days work, in Haiti.
We were allowed to drive right into the interior of the miliary controlled airport, drive our vehicle out onto the tarmac and load our cargo into a brand spankin new Kodiak plane to be piloted by a Mission Aviation Fellowship pilot from Holland.
When it was time to leave our ground crew pushed us out to the runway and we took off.
We flew South to Jacmel. Over Haiti. A-MAZING... is all I can say.
I am scared of heights and was mentally prepared to die... but we did not crash and I did not die. (I was seriously thinking that I was glad I had watched so much Bear Grills with Kaleb, and I think I could survive and hike out... if the sudden stop of the crash didn't smoosh me).
We arrived in Jacmel 25 minutes later. We were greeted by the Canadian miliary and whisked away to the church to start clinic. Within 20 minutes we were seeing patients. I saw 30 patients by 2pm and prayed with every one. They know they are loved.
I only cried with one family today. She is a single mom with 4 kids. They are sleeping outside and she is afraid and feels unsafe. She is grieving the loss of her husband, who died in September. Her name is Melielle. Friends, please pray for her. She broke my heart.
We had to be back on the plane by 2:30, so we made it back at 2:29. Our pilot flew us safely back to Port au Prince and the mountains, cities and the sea look amazing from 5000 ft.
I am still scared of heights, but I loved this anyway.
All in a days work, in Haiti.
Friday, February 5, 2010
We made it!
It took 24 hours, but we made it to Haiti. The commute from DR into Haiti was 9 hours and there were literally thousands of people lined up at the US Embassy trying to get a Visa into the US. The traffic in Port au Prince is like none other.
We met up with the rest of our team once we arrived and there are now 11 on our team. Part of our team has already deployed to Leogane today to work in a clinic there.
Myself and one of the docs will fly in a small plane to Jacmel tomorrow with Misson Aviation Fellowship to work in a clinic there for the day.
The remainder of our team will stay here in Port au Prince tomorrow to work in the clinic at the stadium.
Saturday... who knows.
I have not slept in 36 hours, but I have had a shower, and my new Haitian freinds are fixing beans and rice and chicken for supper.... homade Haitian rice and beans.
All is well and I look forward to clinic tomorrow.
Thank you Lord for today and for this opportunity.
I am so grateful.
We met up with the rest of our team once we arrived and there are now 11 on our team. Part of our team has already deployed to Leogane today to work in a clinic there.
Myself and one of the docs will fly in a small plane to Jacmel tomorrow with Misson Aviation Fellowship to work in a clinic there for the day.
The remainder of our team will stay here in Port au Prince tomorrow to work in the clinic at the stadium.
Saturday... who knows.
I have not slept in 36 hours, but I have had a shower, and my new Haitian freinds are fixing beans and rice and chicken for supper.... homade Haitian rice and beans.
All is well and I look forward to clinic tomorrow.
Thank you Lord for today and for this opportunity.
I am so grateful.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Hi Haiti, its gonna get better.
Today is the the day.
I can't wait to get there and tell my first patient in Haiti they are loved and cared for beyond what they can see or understand.
And, it's gonna get better.
I can't wait.
I can't wait to get there and tell my first patient in Haiti they are loved and cared for beyond what they can see or understand.
And, it's gonna get better.
I can't wait.
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